Holy Guest List Batman, The Cost of Weddings is About to Soar!

Posted on February 22, 2012 by

It is no secret readers, that the cost of gas is about to rise to levels that we Americans have never experienced.  We are also keenly aware that with the rise in fuel costs, comes the rise in cost for EVERYTHING!!  Anything and everything that has to be delivered, which is pretty much everything we consume, will undoubtedly take a dramatic upward turn.  So what does this mean for the wedding business, and more importantly, how are you going to budget your money to get the wedding of your dreams?

Ladies and gentleman we are going to take a little stroll down memory lane for a moment. Remember my blog about the Guest List?  Well in light of the coming economic slam we are all about to experience, we say “hello old friend.”  Here we go…………

1. For the majority of brides and grooms, the number one indicator on how much their wedding is about to cost them…or their parents…is the size of the guest list.  Think about it…..the more people you invite, rolls into needing a larger venue, feeding more people, purchasing a larger cake, renting more equipment if needed……….etc….etc.  You get the picture.  REMEMBER….It’s a wedding, not a family reunion!!!

2.  Not only might you think about pairing down the guest list, but you might really want to think about the size of your bridal party.  The more friends and relatives in the “party,” the more bouquets, corsages, and boutinere’s you’ll be purchasing. Do you really need 10 bridesmaids and groomsmen?  Maybe not. Now I know for most of you, this is a much tougher choice than cutting 5th cousin 7 times removed from the guest list, but select carefully here. Really….select carefully!  More on the guest list later.

3.  Consider hiring a planner……………….long pause……………………what did she just say?  Yes, hire a planner and/or a consultant.  Why?  Isn’t the idea to cut costs?  Absolutely!  So why hire a planner or consultant?  Like I’ve said in the past, if you are getting married in a town, state, or country, that you are unfamiliar with, hiring a planner or consultant can save you significant amount of time, stress, and, oh yeah, fuel!!!  If you are not running around searching for florists, caterers, venues, and D.J.’s blindly, you will save money in the end…and your sanity as well!!  So what do they do that you might not be willing or able to do?  A planner and/or consultant that has been in the business long enough, will know the right people for the job….or at least direct you to the right people for the job.  If you are working with a tight budget, then the planner will hopefully be able to direct you to vendors that can fit that need.  I know that many brides think that hiring a planner/consultant is a luxury that they cannot afford, but trust me when I say, that there are planners that will work within your budget constraints to help you achieve your goals  My view is…why not?  As planners we have to remember that a little good will now, can go a long way in securing additional business in the future!  That’s my motto anyway!

4.  The DIY bride.  With the rising cost of living associated with the rising fuel costs, there is going to be resurgence in the DIY popularity.  Martha Stewart vast fortune grew out of this very phenomenon 30 years ago…..and her message….even though her DIY comes at the hands of an enormous staff……….is going to be more appealing and necessary than ever!  In the above paragraph I mentioned a consultant.  What exactly is a consultant?  Well normally a consultant is professional that…well…does just that….consults on a project without actually physically working on the project.  Example….if you are planning to do your flowers by yourself, but you are not sure which design might be the most cost-effective, or maybe the easiest to create without going insane, you might want to consult with a professional in the field of floral design!  A consultant might charge by the hour, by the day, or by the overall design project creation.  Either way, again, you can save yourself valuable time, money, and most of all………..your sanity by spending a little money to have a “game plan,” so to speak.  Don’t forget, a professional florist/designer consultant can even do the purchasing for you, saving you lots of time and hopefully some money too!

5.Once again…………..The Guest List.  See a pattern here? Running the risk of sounding redundant,  I cannot stress enough the importance of trimming your guest list if your budget is feeling the strain.  I know you want to invite ALL of your friends, and your parents want you to invite ALL of your relatives, but in this struggling economy, it just really doesn’t make good sense.  This is probably the most difficult area to tackle when planning your wedding.  But remember….at an average of $ 50.00-$60.00 a plate, the total cost of your wedding can easily soar way past your intended budget!!  I believe in sitting down with your family, or your wife/husband to be, and in an honest conversation, come to a realistic number that you can agree upon, and more importantly, afford!  Will there be hurt feelings?  Well maybe, but if they are good friends, and loving family members, they will understand.  Don’t forget, you can always invite them to the family reunion!!!

With careful planning, combined with professional guidance, you will be able to create the wedding of your dreams……….even in today’s volatile economy.  Just remember to be realistic, and honest in your expectations.  Most of all, keep an open line of communication between all parties involved, and I am positive that you will be smiling the brightest of smiles on your wedding day!  Congratulations!

 

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The DIY Bride: Should You?

Posted on February 14, 2012 by

As a professional florist, and former shop owner, I have created wedding designs to fit every budget.  In the 1990′s when our shop was doing a very large wedding business, the economy was relatively stable, thus brides on average were able to work with a larger budget.  Did that larger budget translate into a larger floral budget?  Well……..not always, but I will say that there was a bit more money going into the coffers of all professionals in the business then.  2012?  Hmmmmm let’s talk about that!

When I’m in the grocery store looking through the magazine section, I can’t help but notice the increase in DIY wedding publications.  Now, I am not surprised by this given the state of the economy, but I have noticed that when it comes to flower design, there is still a lack of information about cost.  Some do a pretty good job at breaking it down, but because flower prices can change as quickly as the weather, it can be hard to really pin point how much those designs are actually going to cost the bride.  So what does the DIY bride do in this case?  You really can’t go to your local florist….well you could but it’s bad form….and grill them for flower prices and advice….maybe a friend, or family member?  How about the opportunity to consult with a professional on not only the how to’s, but the how much, side of doing your own flowers?  I might have the answer.

When I sold my shop a decade ago, I truly believed I was done with the floral profession….period.  I had decided to go back to school and earn my B.A. in history….fully intending on earning my Master’s and going on to teach at our local community college.  But like many creative people, I just couldn’t get a way from designing and decorating…..so I created this company, Silver Leaf Events, so I could keep one foot in the door of designing, and also have a hand in planning and coordinating weddings when needed.  But honestly what I enjoy most is advising and teaching others how to do their own designs…and so I offer this…………….

As part of my business, I offer design consulting.  For a fee, I will help the DIY bride plan, purchase, and advise on how to create a beautiful wedding on her own, or with the help of friends and family if she so chooses.  I can advise you on how to create a simple but dramatic look that will not only satisfy your taste, but will hopefully leave a little extra money in your bank account for the honeymoon!

Now I know this blog will not be popular with many in the industry…especially florists.  But before you write to me, I want to say one thing.  In the title of this blog I wrote:  The DIY Bride: Should You?  Should you? Uh, NO, I really do not encourage it.  Can you?  Of course, but you must be a bride that is extremely organized, have a lot of free time on your hands, and have the willingness to be frustrated at times without becoming a bridezilla!  Why?  Because I am going to say this with all honesty.  Florists earn, and I mean EARN every penny they charge for creating the designs for your wedding.  In fact, weddings are so labor intensive, that in reality, florists often barely break even.  Remember, you are paying them for their talent.  What might look easy to do, is really not…so do keep that in mind before you even contemplate doing your own flowers!

But for those of you that want to try to tackle the job, you are welcome to contact me and set up an appointment.  Remember that I’m in Murphys, Ca.  I will consider traveling within a reasonable distance.

Today I wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day and congratulations if some of you were either married or engaged on this special romantic day!!

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My Favorite Gift Idea of The Week

Posted on February 13, 2012 by

I’ve been writing a lot lately about the basic building blocks of a wedding.  Everything from budget concerns, to the right time to buy flowers…..I’ve been blogging about it.  So today I thought I would indulge in a bit of advertising about a gift that I think is rather unique, and without a doubt, a lot of fun!

I met the creator of Blue World Botanicals at a vendor event at Ironstone Vineyards, here in Murphys, Ca.  You’ll recall that I have Ironstone featured as my current wedding venue of the month.  However, I was participating in this particular event as sterling silver jewelry rep….”my other job”……. and was set up next to a woman that had some very intriguing products on display!  I stared and stared at these little boxed and wrapped cupcakes, and tiny wedding cakes, for the longest time, trying to figure out what the heck they were!!  They looked to me like real food cupcakes, and cakes, but I thought what the heck would someone do with a miniature wedding cake?  Was I behind on the latest trend? EEK…no one told me!!!  So………..of course………….I finally asked when I had a break from customer traffic………..oh was I surprised!!

Now if these products are on the mass market already, than I am truly unaware of them.  So I am going to introduce you to, Blue World Botanicals…………….bath fizzies that I found so wonderful, that I decided to buy them, and offer them to my clients, and new customers, looking for a fun and unique gift:  Take a look at these:

Christine, the owner and creator of these wonderful gifts has informed me that custom orders of scents, and colors, are available.  I think these are just wonderful, and are so realistic, that it is virtually impossible to tell them apart from their edible counterparts!

If you are interested in learning more about these products and how to purchase them, please contact me either here on my website or at raedavis1099@gmail.com.  I hope you find them as much fun as I do! Enjoy!!

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Flowers Revisited: Budget Reality Check, Please!

Posted on February 9, 2012 by

I know, I know, it is not the first time that I’ve discussed the topic of flowers.  But as a florist, and former shop owner, I thought I might take a minute to revisit the subject.  So readers, indulge me for a moment!

The reason I wanted to discuss the topic of flowers a little more, is because when it comes down to it, it is the flowers that convey the emotion, style, taste, and tone of the wedding.  When the bride and her party walk down the aisle, the first thing people notice…other than the bride herself, is the flowers that everyone is carrying.  When guests walk into the reception area, it is often the flowers that bring out the ooooh’s and ahhhh’s.  So…if all of that is true, then why oh why are designers often left with the absolute tail end of the deflated budget to work with??? Brides……Please, please, please, rethink your budget strategy!!!

Ok, ok, I am sure that I have a number of brides that believe the decor is not as important as the venue and food.  And if you are one of those brides, then maybe this particular blog is not for you.  That’s ok!  I’ve said it before, you must prioritize your list of wants and needs for your wedding to ultimately be happy at the outcome.  However, in my experience, even brides that think the flower budget isn’t that important, often find themselves very frustrated at this point in the wedding planning process……….why?

More often than not, brides still at least carry a bouquet down the aisle.  If she has a bridal party, the girls too are carrying some type of flowers!  The average wedding party…on the bride’s side only….is anywhere from 3 to 7 and sometimes more, but rarely less.  So there is the potential for at least 9 bouquets, and that is without adding in the boutineers.  Average bride’s bouquets can run anywhere from $100.00 – $300.00…now I said average….there is certainly those that can cost more or less.  Bridesmaid’s bouquets are usually in the $75.00-$125.00 range, but again I’ve had them run more and less expensive.  I’m just quoting averages that I am most familiar with.  Ok…so if you do the math you can see the least amount for a bride and a party of 7 girls is around $625.00 and we haven’t added in the guy’s yet.  The average boutineer is about $8.00-$12.00 each, depending on how simple or fancy they are.  Remember small items can often be labor intensive!  So there is another $56.00 there.  So we’re nearly at $700.00 and oh yeah…what about the mothers, grandmothers, fathers, and grandfathers?  It is custom to adorn those folks with corsages and boutineers as well.  Will you have a flower girl and ring bearer?  Other special people you want to recognize?  You see where I’m going here….

Ok, granted I am averaging a wedding that has about 7 attendants on each side…BUT…you will also notice that I averaged out on the least expensive side.  By time you add in the other relatives on both sides, and the ring bearer and flower girl…should you have them….you are looking at, at least a $1,000 plus and you haven’t even talked about the reception yet.  In all the years that I have decorated weddings, there have been less than a handful…..in fact I’m trying to even recall any weddings that we did that did not include reception flowers…….maybe 1 in 11 years????  So odds are, you are planning to decorate your reception using at least some flowers….right?

Now the reason I’m writing this particular blog is this:  More often than not, a bride has been spending the year or two, or three, prior to the wedding, tearing out pictures in bridal magazines of the look she really wants to recreate for her wedding.  Who doesn’t do that?  For goodness sake, look at the number of bridal publications dedicated to just that very act!!!!  I even did that for my second wedding, so I understand completely!!  However, here’s the problem.  Undoubtedly, you have heard the phrase, “champagne taste on a beer budget?”  Well girls, unfortunately so have I.  Not only have I heard it, I’ve had to work with it many times!

Do not get me wrong!  There is nothing wrong with working within a small budget.  However, so many brides absolutely make appointments with their designer’s with a deflated budget and a Martha Stewart magazine.  Uh oh…..so now what?  If you plan carefully, and realistically………NOTHING!

Brides, the next time you buy a wedding magazine, pay close attention to the fact that every floral design is missing one essential thing……….PRICE!  Do, or should, florist expect that brides are going to automatically know the price of flowers?  Of course not!  And here’s where the problems often begin.  A bride has unknowingly chosen a look for her wedding from her favorite magazine, made up of the most expensive flowers, but her budget has been eaten up by the cost of her venue, and making sure the guests are eating a lovely dinner.  What is a girl to do?  REWIND!

I know I have said this before, but brides, a major part of the stress you feel in planning your wedding often happens at this very point in the process.  Without a doubt, the larger part of the overall wedding budget is eaten up at the moment you make up your guest list. Ha!  You thought I would say venue didn’t you?  Don’t forget……the best way to keep your budget in check is to CAREFULLY decide on how many people you want to invite to the wedding.  Remember like I said before, it’s a wedding, not a family reunion!  Hey if mom and dad have a “sky’s the limit” bank account and attitude…then by all means invite away! However, we know that in 2012, that is rarely the case.  SO……………….before you choose the venue, the food, the cake, the music, and definitely BEFORE you choose the decor style and flowers, think carefully about the guest list.  Why?  Because the number one thing that determines the choice of venue, is the size of the wedding.  I know, not always, but most of the time, that is true!

Also, another good place to start is actually with your florist!  If you’ve been saving up those wonderful photos of your vision for your wedding, stop a minute, and take them to you florist to find out how much it might cost you!  If that exact look is more than you intend to spend, then ask he or she how you might achieve the same “look” but within your budget parameters.

To sum things up…and I apologize for the length of this blog…..first determine what is most important to you.  No matter what…start with the guest list….do you need to invite EVERYONE?  Maybe not.  If your decor is most important, but you’re not sure how much of you budget you need to set aside………START with your designer!  All in all, working backwards can often save you time, money, and without a doubt…a whole lot of stress!  Good luck everyone!!

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Vow Renewal Couples, Let’s Hear from You!!!

Posted on February 3, 2012 by

If you’ve been reading my posts, you know that I dedicate most of my blogs to the first time bride. Well today I thought I would write about a wedding topic that doesn’t get as much press…………..the vow renewal!!!

I do not mind sharing the fact that I divorced my first husband after 17 years of a marriage.  While this was a union that probably should have never happened, we did however produce two wonderful children that are now wonderful adults! But alas, this story of a “marriage gone wrong,” does have a happy ending!  Today, I have been married 12.5 years to the most caring, loving, kind, giving, most selfless man on the planet, and in 2014 for our 15th anniversary, we plan to “tie the knot all over again!”

In my humble opinion, I think the wedding industry overlooks the couples that have “beat the odds,” so to speak, and are ready to proclaim their love for one another, all over again!  Of course it isn’t hard to figure out why that is…………………..$$$!!!  Sadly, there isn’t as much money to be made in catering to the needs of these weddings, and as a result, we do not get to see the wonderful pictures of couples renewing their vows in rustic or exotic settings.  Well I say……………….hey come one!!!  Give us our due!  We are happily married couples, that are nothing but the BEST examples to the newly engaged, who are seeking the many ways in which to make their weddings an affair to remember!

Ok, so some of us seeking to get married……to our same spouse…..over again….. are not always “first timers.”  I say that’s perfectly ok!!!  People divorce for a multitude of reasons, and frankly, like my first time around, some should have never happened in the first place!  BUT, when you have found that special love, a love that endures all things good, bad, and everything in between, you should be celebrated in any way you choose!

There is NO etiquette that dictates the vow renewal ceremony.  Brides, I do not care if you’ve been married 10 years, or 60 years, if want to wear a white full on wedding gown to walk down that aisle again…………….then GO FOR IT!  Don’t forget, many couples at the time of their initial marriages, may not have had the money for a big affair.  Many didn’t have the money for a wedding at all!  SO………bridal industry, I’m talking to you!  It is time for those of us planning to renew our wedding promises to one another, to have a place  to find subjects, products, places, and publications, dedicated to us!  Do not overlook the fact that many couples seeking to plan a vow renewal ceremony are likely to be in a better financial situation than many first time couples!

So here’s my request for those of you reading this post, and are contemplating a vow renewal ceremony.  I want to hear from YOU!  Whether you have already “tied the knot again,”….to the same man or woman please……..or you are thinking of planning your first vow renewal ceremony…………I want to know the where, how, why, and the when’s of you day! And by all means, send me pictures of your event!  You can email those to www.raedavis1099@gmail.com, and I will feature them in my upcoming blogs on the subject!   In the meantime, readers, I will keep you informed on my own plans to renew our wedding promises all over again!!! Good luck everyone!

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Entourage? Do You Need That Many Opinions?

Posted on February 1, 2012 by

I cannot help but laugh when I watch the latest and greatest “reality” shows dedicated to everything wedding.  Like all shows claiming to be real life, in real-time, those that broadcast “everything wedding”, are of course edited, scripted, and sometimes….and I’m sorry…dumbed down so the American public will watch.  I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a “bridezilla” having her 15 minutes of tantrum throwing fame?  Do I?  Well not really, but every once in a while these shows do manage to produce a nugget of real wedding planning life!  Think, entourage. And I do not mean the television series!

If you have been watching the shows dedicated to selecting and buying a wedding gown, or bridesmaid’s dress, then you should know what I mean when I use the word, entourage.  You know, the bride’s posse she brings with her to spit out advice…solicited or not…so we the audience can empathize, and sympathize, with her plight.  Come on…..they drag in a dozen women including the mother, grandmother, future mother in law, and the bridal party, and we are supposed to believe everyone is just going to be supportive and kind as the brides march out in dress after dress?  Of course not!  It’s television!!!  However, there is something very real about having to deal with “too many cooks in the kitchen.”  Truthfully, is it really even necessary?

For many years, I have had people ask me how in the world I could put up with “bridezillas,” or worse yet, the dreaded “mother of the bridezilla?”  Frankly, I do not “put up” with anyone.  My philosophy is, that as a business owner, you do everything possible to make the client feel comfortable with you, and that starts with the initial consultation!  As I’ve stated before, I meet with my couple for 2 complimentary hours so that not only do they get to know me a bit, but I get a feel for their vision and their personality too!  Any wedding planner, designer, caterer, etc., that will not admit to sometimes basing their willingness to work for a bride based on personality, is not telling the whole truth.  As a florist, I turned down a couple of weddings…and only a couple…because I was NOT willing to put up with what I perceived to be a bridezilla……….but I digress.  So what does this have to do with the problem of entourages? PLENTY!

As I’ve said before, I prefer to meet with the bride or bride and groom, alone.  Even as a former shop owner, I enjoyed meeting the couple without the interjections of opinions, and advice, from other family members or friends.  I want to hear the couple’s vision for their wedding day.  I do not really care during my initial consultation who is holding the purse strings……………vision has NOTHING to do with money.  Do not forget brides, that a “vision” is just that………..it isn’t a contract, it isn’t the final product, it isn’t anything other than how you, and your groom, envision a very special moment in your lives.  This is not a time to take advice from well-meaning friends and relatives………..they are not inside your head, and cannot truthfully understand your ideas, style, and individual personalities, that you both would like to see reflected in your wedding! Nor should they try!  An overwhelmed and confused bride is often mistaken for the dreaded “bridezilla,” and it is not necessary!

Of course I understand the need and desire to please your parents, and impress your friends, on your wedding day.  I also am well aware that many, many, parents are paying the bill for their daughter’s and son’s wedding day, and that there is going to be a certain amount of advice and budget constrictions that you are going to have to abide by.  After all, this is the real world….not television. But brides, try on wedding dresses alone if you can for the first time.  Take your time…..get a feel of your own sense of style..consult with the professionals, and narrow the field of choices so that if or when you return to show your family and friends a those choices, you will feel more confident in revealing what you and you alone, found to be appealing,  Will it keep your entourage from slinging every piece of advice at you until your head is going to explode?  Well……..maybe not….but at least you began your journey on your terms.  And if you aren’t beholding to etiquette, take your fiance along the first time for his opinion…if he’s willing.  After all isn’t it his smile you want to see most when you walk down the aisle?

Remember, a confident and well-organized bride, is a confident, happy and calm bride!  Congratulations to all the 2012 wedding couples!

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The Pinterest Phenomenon

Posted on January 31, 2012 by

If you are a bride that has not discovered Pinterest, you really, really, need to!

Wow who would have thought that what is basically an online scrapbook of ideas, would take off so quickly!  What a fabulous way to share ideas, and to gather inspiration for all sorts of things from home decor, personal fashion, favorite places, and of course wedding designs from the dresses to the flowers!  If you’re looking for it, chances are you are going to find it on Pinterest.

I really never considered blogging about another website.  But when I discovered that Pinterest is now the place that everyone is talking about and visiting, well I figured that I’d pass on the fun!  Now you have to be invited to, or “apply” if you will, to be an active part of Pinterest.  If you are on Facebook, and who isn’t these days, chances are you have many friends that have already discovered this valuable online tool.  If they haven’t invited you…then by all means…ask them to!

This won’t be a long-winded blog….but brides, consider checking out the ideas on Pinterest. Print some of your favorite ideas out before you consult with your florist, shop for a dress, meet with your planner/coordinator…..or guide he or she to the site and point out your favorite ideas.  I think you just might save yourself a lot of legwork looking for design inspiration!

For more information check out www.pinterest.com  Let me know what you think!

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